Confidence and The Enemy Within You

"It's hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head"

The more self-confidence you have, the more likely you are to succeed in life. So, if you lack self-confidence, does that mean that failure is inevitable? Only you can answer that question. The bottom line is that if you believe that your lack of self-confidence makes your failure inevitable, you will inevitably fail.

Henry Ford once said, "Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right." Think about that for a moment. Only you can decide the outcome of your life. The way you think affects every single aspect of your life. If you think you're a failure, guess what? You are a failure - even when everyone around you tells you you're a success. For example, a beautiful young woman can look in the mirror and see an ugly face looking back at her. Everyone tells her she's beautiful but she tells herself she's ugly - therefore she believes she is ugly. 

A talented athlete can be preparing for a major event. His coach tells him he's ready, his results in training are telling him he's ready but he tells himself he's not ready - therefore he believes he's not ready. In both cases, their beliefs are based on nothing real, in fact their thoughts are totally irrational, but because it's what they believe to be real, it becomes their reality.

The negative voice inside the young woman's head is the enemy within - she is effectively her own worst enemy. For as long as she chooses to listen to and believe what that negative voice is telling her, she is choosing to let negativity cloud her vision and her world. The same applies to the athlete. He is choosing to let the negative voice of self-doubt railroad his confidence into oblivion. What you think you are, you are. What you think you can or can't do, you're right!

However, going around shouting your mouth off about how great you think you are, doesn't mean that you are great. You only need to watch an episode of 'The Apprentice' on TV to see 'confidence' personified but having the self-confidence to talk the talk does not in itself guarantee you success. Real confidence comes from within; it comes from knowing that you can also walk the walk. If you never doubt yourself, you're not self-confident, you're simply arrogant! Of course, being 'quietly confident' wouldn't make great TV.

Genuine self-confidence comes from knowing who you are and knowing what you're capable of achieving. That knowledge comes from challenging yourself and successfully meeting those challenges. If you lack self-confidence, your biggest challenge is to silence the negative voice of the enemy within. So, how do you fight an enemy with outposts in your head? The first step is to recognise that self-doubt is not something you have to accept. The negative voice in your head does not have all the answers - put it to the test.

Sometimes The Day Comes

Sometimes the day comes
when you try your level best
to achieve something
but you fail

Sometimes the day comes
when nobody understands you
and you feel that you are isolated
from the world

Sometimes the day comes
when you want to help the needy
but find yourself unable to
because of some reasons

Sometimes the day comes
when you are hungry and have a few bucks
but you see the child laborers and buy food for them

Sometimes the day comes
when Mom comes up with one answer
and Father with another
and you have to make your own decision

Sometimes the day comes
when you see that some people ditch others
because of their selfishness

Sometimes the day comes
when you want to tell something to your parents
but find yourself unable to because
you think that they might get hurt or misunderstand you

Sometimes the day comes
when your friends drift apart
not because you were not able to understand them
but because they were not able to understand you

Sometimes the day comes
when you want to smile
but can't find a place to even weep

Sometimes the day comes
when your beloved can't understand your feelings
and leaves you alone
and you look down and feel ashamed or embarrassed

But sometimes the day comes
when you learn from all your failure and think
"Those who dare to fail greatly can achieve greatly."

Don't look down, look up.

Mohd Ashraf @ Aleesha Farhana Dies

KUALA TERENGGANU – Mohd Ashraf Abd Aziz, 26, (picture) who failed to apply changes to his name died this morning after being admitted to Sultanah Nur Zahirah Hospital’s ICU, here, 5am this morning.

He was admitted at the hospital after suffering heart problems and low blood pressure.

His father, Abdul Aziz Ahmad, 60, when contacted, said that his son will be buried after Zuhur.

He said that he is waiting for other family members to arrive to discuss where should Ashraf be buried, quoted from Bernama.com.

Yesterday, doctor confirmed that his son suffered an unstable heart attack also known as ‘unstable angina with cardiogenic shock’.

He said that Mohd Ashraf Hafiz, 25, was going through depression after his application that was filed in the Kuala Terengganu High Court to change his name to a female name, was rejected on July 18.

Mohd Ashraf Hafiz, from Seberang Takir, here, had applied to change the name in his MyKad to Aleesha Farhana Abdul Aziz after he went through sex reassignment surgery (SRS) in Thailand two years ago.

Life Story: Ashraf @ Aleesha ‘s Fight Ends Here

KUALA LUMPUR – In 1985, a baby named Mohd Ashraf Hafiz Abdul Aziz was born. The child of Mak Yah and Abdul Aziz was born without any defects. He was then brought up with full of love  by both his parents.

Since he was small, Mak Yah had seen the strong feminine side in her son. But what can a mother do to stop the natural urge that was beginning to get stronger. Ashraf grew up with an even more obvious femininity.

Abdul Aziz, 60, in the other hand told that he had never face any problems to discipline his kids. But with Ashraf, he admitted that he couldn’t find a way to stop Ashraf’s behavior.

In his teenage years, his father told that his son wasn’t rasping like how normal teenage boys would be when they reach puberty.

Ashraf even sways like a woman. Making Abdul Aziz even more concerned.

“His brother did cut his hair like this army style, but we still see him as a woman, the only difference was that he had a much shorter hair,” he said.

His father added, no matter what the whole family did to him, Ashraf still strong with his feminine side.

Regarding his career, according to Mak Yah, she understood that her son worked at Putrajaya, but she didn’t really tell what Ashraf’s real job is.

Behind Mak Yah and Abdul Aziz’s knowledge, Ashraf, who has a diploma in medical field had gone through medical and hormone test at Kuala Lumpur Pantai Medical Centre somewhere around 2007 and he was qualified to change his gender.

The peak of ‘femininity process’ for Ashraf happened when both his parents went to Mecca to perform haj in 2009, he then took matters to his own hands by going through sex reassignment surgery (SRS) in one of the hospitals in Thailand without telling his parents.

Although the surgery did satisfy Ashraf, he then faced his parents’ fury when when acted by burning all of his female attires and chased him away.

According to Mak Yah, despite of getting chased away, he still went back to his parents, but he only dared to sleep in the car.

Despite him being exiled from the family, that still didn’t break his spirit in becoming a woman by filing a petition to the Court in May 15 to allow him to change his name from Mohd Ashraf Hafiz to ‘Aleesha Farhana’, to facilitate him to go through everyday life, besides to enter university to further his studies.

Petition that was filed after Ashraf changed his gender was managed by his lawyer, Horley Isaac and Senior Federal Counsel, Adha Abu Bakar, and the case was heard in front of High Court Judge, Judge Datuk Mohd Yazid Mustafa.

However, petition that was submitted was then rejected by Mohd Yazid with excuse that even though Ashraf had changed his gender, it still couldn’t be argued to the court to approve the application.

Ashraf’s depression was obvious when he heard result given by High Court Judge  and mentioned that he’d rather die fighting to change his name in his Identity Card and he was determined to make an appeal on the decision.

But, his hopes were shattered when he was reported dead when he was treated at Sultanah Nur Zahirah Hospital’s Intensive Care Unit (ICU), here, 5 am this morning due to unstable heart attack, also known as ‘unstable angina with cardiogenic shock’.

And that marks the end of Mohd Ashraf Hafiz’s fight to become ‘Aleesha Farhana binti’ Abdul Aziz and according to Abdul Aziz, his son will be buried after Zuhur at Seberang Takir as a man.

May Mohd Ashraf Hafiz is forgiven by Allah S.W.T and may god bless his soul. Al-Fatihah.

Make Things Easier

We all want our lives to be easy. We all want to go through life without any issues or worries so we can enjoy everything in our lives without having to struggle. We would like not to have to rely on other people but to be able to have the life we believe we want and we want it struggle free.

We can see how the world stresses so much that we strive to less stress free. The world shows us ways to learn to relax. The world encourages us to remove the things in our lives which cause us issues and burden us. The world tells us to drink to relax and have a little fun to try and forget about the issues in our lives.

Because we want a stress free life, when we are faced with challenges and struggles and road blocks, we get upset. We get worried. We begin to wonder why things have to happen to us when others seem to be doing so well. When things come up in our lives where we don't really know what to do, we look for answers.

Psalm 55:22 "Give your burdens to the Lord, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall."

It is okay to look for answers when we are suffering. However, we will mess up if we look for answers in the world. When we look for answers in the world they are only temporary solutions. If we want to really make the things in our lives easier, we need to go to God for the answers. God has the permanent solutions that will help us get through life His way.

To make things easier in life we need to go to God. We need to focus on what He wants us to do in life. We need to be sure He guides us when we are having our ups and our downs. We need to be sure we are living according to His direction. We need to be sure we are reading His word and we are communicating with Him daily. We have to intentionally live for Him every day.

God will make things easier for us. That doesn't mean we still won't struggle. That doesn't mean we still won't have issues and problems. That doesn't mean we still won't have things in life which seem overwhelming. It does mean God will be there for us and we will know it. It does mean God will give us comfort and make our transition easier as we deal with the problems we have.

When we go to God for all our needs and rely on Him to make our lives easier, we won't be free from problems but we will be able to deal with things much better. When we go to God every day and give Him our day and talk to Him throughout the day depending on Him to help us with the good things and the bad, He will teach us through our struggles so we can know to depend on Him and learn how we can make a difference.

Psalm 145:18-19 "The Lord is close to all who call on him, yes, to all who call on him in truth. He grants the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cries for help and rescues them."

My Guest Writer

Keseimbangan Kehidupan dengan bermain dan berkerja

Kehidupan tidak akan berjalan dengan baik dan tidak lengkap, tanpa keseimbangan antara kerja, cinta dan bermain. Saya tidak menekankan antara kerja dan cinta, tapi kaitan antara kesan bermain dan kerja.

Kalau dipilih dengan baik, waktu rekreasi kita dapat memberi sumbangan yang besar kapada kesejahteraan kehidupan kita, kesihatan kita dan untuk kehidupan yang penuh dengan kejayaan. Dengan waktu terluang sepatutnya dipenuhi untuk rekreasi, terutama untuk pelbagai kegiatan yang melibatkan pergerakan badan. Berbagai kegiatan sukan di kawasan terbuka sangat baik untuk tujuan ini. Disamping memberikan kesihatan, disitu kita dapat meningkatkan perhubungan sosial kita antara golongan atau kelompok dimana kita tinggal. 

Rekreasi adalah tempat kita membuang segala ketegangan yang kita alami selepas berkerja. Buangkan segala tenaga negatif yang terkumpul didalam fikiran kita dan gantikan dengan tenaga positif yang berguna. Rekreasi mengimbangi kekuatan dan kemampuan kita apabila pemikiran kita kembali tenang. Untuk mendapatkan kecekapan maksima, kita perlu lebih banyak bergerak dikawasan yang terbuka dan tenang. Disana kita boleh berjalan-jalan, menarik nafas sedalam-dalamnya, bersukan, semua ini bermanafaat untuk mengurangi tekanan yang kita alami.

Rekreasi adalah penyembuhan bagi kelelahan fizikal dan mental. Ia merupakan bentuk kerehatan yang baik. Elakan dari mengerahkan kemampuan mental dan fizikal kita terlalu berlebihan. Berikan ianya sedikit rehat untuk ianya sentiasa dalam keadaan yang stabil. 

Wang hanya mampu membeli ubat tapi tidak kesihatan.

Pena Hitam

Semakin lama kita membiarkan nasib buruk, semakin cepat kita hancur

Sifat 'kecil hati' kebiasaan melahirkan pergerakan mundur dan bukannya terus maju kehadapan. Keberanian merupakan alat penguji tentang kehebatan dan ketahanan seseorang, ianya merupakan petunjuk yang hebat tentang kecekalan seseorang untuk sampai kapada matlamat dan kejayaannya.

Kemenangan tidak akan dicapai bila kita menarik diri. Menyerah kalah dan berundur adalah langkah yang sering diambil oleh kebanyakkan orang ketika keadaan terasa berat baginya. Mereka tidak mampu maju kehadapan kearah sasaran, mereka sepatutnya menambah kekuatan untuk melepasi halangan - tetapi mereka berehat, berhenti, berundur dan menyerah. Kita harus membakar jambatan yang ada dibelakang kita, sehingga kita tidak mungkin mempunyai peluang untuk berpatah kembali.

Semangat kerdil kita menjadi musuh besar kapada diri kita sendiri, bila kita membiarkan sifat kecil hati menguasai fikiran. Nasib buruk, masalah, penghalang, penundaan, lawan, kesulitan adalah perkara-perkara yang harus dilalui oleh orang yang teguh pendirian, mereka berfikiran optimis, memiliki kepercayaan diri. Halangan ditukar menjadi batu loncatan, mata, hati dan fikiran mereka terbuka luas tertumpu  hanya kapada matlamat yang dituju.

Masalah yang dihadapi oleh orang kebanyakan adalah; ketika keadaan menjadi sukar, mereka menutup mata, fikiran dan hatinya lalu mereka menjadi keci, kerdil - lemah dan semangatnya mengecil. Itulah musuh kita untuk berjaya. Umpamakan pemandu kapal terbang yang menghadapi cuaca buruk akan membuka mata, hati dan fikirannya, menaikan pesawatnya keatas awan gelap, mereka menggunakan segala kemampuannya untuk melepasi cuaca buruk tersebut seolah-olah mereka tiada pilihan antara hidup atau mati. Mereka tidak jalan untuk berpatah balik.

Keberanian, kekuatan dalam menghadapi kegagalan akan dihargai oleh setiap orang, orang yang tetap ceria menghadapi kemalangan akan sentiasa dihargai dan dikagumi orang.

Pena Hitam

Perhimpunan 9Julai tidak memberi apa makna

Etika adalah prinsip moraliti, termasuk tentang ilmu tentang kebaikan mahupun kebenaran. Tidak ada kepuasan dalam hidup yang lebih bermakna dari kesedaran dan keinginan menjadi yang terbaik. Kesedaran menyatakan dan melakukan yang benar.

Satu-satunya jalan agar kehidupan memberikan hasil sebagaimana yang dikehendaki, menikmati  hasil dari kejayaan yang berterusan, kebahagiaan dan kedamaian, adalah dengan terus menjaga keharmonian dengan keberadapan kita. Dengan menjaga keharmonian kita menghasilkan kesihatan, kemakmuran, kekuatan dan kekuasaan. Bagitu juga sebaliknya, elakan perselisihan, ketidaksesuaian atau ketidakserasian yang sering menghasilkan kelemahan dan keruntuhan.

Kehidupan bermoral adalah yang paling utama bagi manusia. Inilah cara untuk membuat kehidupan itu terbaik. Apabila prinsip tersebut dilepaskan dari diri kita, keseluruhan kehidupan menjadi tidak harmoni.

Kesedaran kita adalah penanda arah tunjuk kita, ramai yang mengabaikan bisikan yang amat lembut dari dalam diri kita, dan tidak mungkin dapat lari dari bisikan tersebut. Sebab bisikan dari diri kita yang tidak kita hargai itu sering kali membayangi kita. Ada orang yang cuba untuk menyingkirkan kesedaran itu, tetapi cepat atau lambat perkara ini akan muncul dihadapan mereka sebagai penentu (hakim).

Apabila kita kehilangan rasa hurmat terhadap diri sendiri, kita kehilangan sahabat yang terbaik. Kita akan kehilangan segala-gala yang kita ada. Ketika kita kembali kapada diri kita sendiri, tidak akan ada orang lain yang dapat membantu kita, kita tidak dapat meneruskan perjalanan dalam menghadapi pelbagai kesulitan, kita tidak dapat melepasi halangan yang tidak dapat ditembusi, kita akan terus kehilangan rasa hurmat terhadap diri sendiri, kekecewaan terhadap diri sendiri, adalah perkara yang buruk bagi kejayaan dan segala kebahagiaan. Kita menghancurkan apa yang telah kita bina hanya untuk melayani kehendak yang yang tidak menentu.

Othman Ali