Credibility revealed of A Pound of Butter

Credibility matter in A Pound of Butter 

The story was involved between a farmer who selling a pound of butter to the baker. It has been happened for so long time ago, which I managed to recall it. There was about how importance of credibility in life. What is the effects of lost credibility in life.

One day the baker decided to weight the butter to see if he was getting a pound and he found that he was not. This angered him and took this matter and the farmer to court. The judge asked the farmer if he was using any measure. The farmer replied, "Your Honor, I'm primitive, I don't have a proper measure, but I do have a scale." The judge asked, "Then how do you weight the butter?" The farmer replied, "Your Honor, long before the baker started buying butter from me, I have been buying a pound loaf of bread from him. Every day when the baker brings the bread, I put it on the scale and give him the same weight in butter. If anyone is to be blamed, it is the baker." What is the moral of the story? We get back in life what we give to others. That is not my main point. My interested point is someone's credibility and life progress.

Whenever I take an action, I ask myself this question: Am I giving fair value for the wages of money I hope to make? Honesty and dishonesty become a habit. Some people practice dishonesty and can lie with a straight face. Others lie so much that they don't even know what the truth is anymore. But who are the deceiving? Themselves - more than anyone else.

Honesty can be put across gently. Some people take pride in being brutally honest. It seems they are getting a bigger kick out of the brutality than the honesty. Choice of words and tack are important.

Truth may not always be what I want to hear 

One can be truthful without being cruel but that may not always be the case. The most important responsibility of an honest friend is to be truthful. Some people, in order to avoid confronting painful truths, select friends who tell them what they want to hear. They kid themselves despite the fact that deep down they know they are not being truthful. Honest criticism can be painful. If I have many acquaintances and few friends, it is time to step back and explore the depth of your relationships. A lack of honesty is sometimes labeled as tact, public relations or politics. But is it really so. 

The problem with lying is that one has to remember one's lies. Honesty requires firmness and commitment. How many times have we all been guilty of

• little while lies?
• flattery?
• omitting facts or giving half-truth?
• telling the greatest lies by remaining silent?

Credibility
We all know the story of the Shepperd boy who cried wolf. He lost his sheep to the wolf. What is the moral of the story?

• When people tell lies, they lose credibility.
• Once they have lost credibility, even when they tell the truth, no one believes him.

The quality of good character is honesty. Truth can be misrepresented in two ways;

1. incomplete facts or information
2. exaggeration

Beware of half-truth or misrepresentation of truth. If you get two statements, both are true but they conveyed misleading messages.  

Exaggeration
Exaggeration does two things:

1. It weaken a person's case and make him lose credibility.
2. It is like addiction. It becomes a habit. Some people can't tell the truth without exaggerating.

Be sincere

Sincerity is a matter of intent and hard to prove. We can achieve our goals by having a sincere desire to help others.

Stay away from pretense

If you really want to help, think of something appropriate to be done and then do it. Don't put on the cloak of sincerity more out of selfishness than substance, hoping that some day they could claim the right to receive help. Stay away from meaningless and phony pleasantries. 

Caution - Sincerity is no measure of good judgement. Someone could be sincere, yet wrong. Actions speak louder than words. Sincerity can be judged from our action not words. Actions never lies.

A little Black Pen

My key "life gift" - emotional health

My definition of emotional health is having total peace about who I am, what I'm doing, and where I'm going, both individually and in relationship to those around me. In other words, it's feeling totally at peace about the past, present, and future of my life. It's knowing that I'm inline with God's ultimate purpose for me and being fulfilled in that. When I have that kind of peace and I no longer live in emotional agony, then I am a success. 

In contrast to what many people think, emotional health is just as practical and attainable as physical health. If I don't feed my body the right food, I will become ill and die. Spiritually, emotionally, and mentally, I have to be fed and cared for properly, or that part of me gets sick and dies a slow death. Proper exercise for the mind and emotion is just as beneficial as exercise for the body, but most people tend not to think of it way. The way I practice to take care of my emotional health as below. I share it with everyone. Your mind and emotions, like your physical body, need to be freed from stress, fed properly, exercise, cleansed, nurtured, retrained, exposed to freshness and light, and given rest.

Seven steps to Emotional Health

1. Release the Past: Confess to God the times you have failed, and release the times others have failed by moving in full forgiveness.
2. Live in Obedience: Understand that God's ruler are for your benefit, and try to the best of your knowledge to live God way, knowing that every step of obedience bring you closer to the total wholeness.
3. Seek total Restoration: Refuse to accept less than all God has for you, and remember that finding wholeness is an ongoing process.
4. Find Deliverance: Recognize who your enemy is, and separate yourself from anything that separates you from God or keeps you from becoming all God made you to be.
5. Receive God's gifts: Acknowledge the gifts God has given to you, and take the steps necessary to receive them, either bad or good.
6. Reject the Pitfalls: Avoid or get free of the negative traps and deceptions that rob you of life.
7. Stand STRONG: Believe that as long as you stand with God and don't give up, you win. Insyallah.

These seven steps are really natural laws that work for our benefit when we live in harmony with them. Living the right way generate life, no matter who we are or what our circumstances. Likewise, doing the wrong thing leads to death. Understanding the seven steps with your mind will influence the state of your heart, which will effect your emotion and ultimately your entire life. Master it and and make it operate successfully in your life and the life countless others. Now start your journey toward emotional health.

Together we will take it step at a time.
A Little Black Pen

Building Confidence

A young couple used to leave their daughter at a day-child care center everyday before going to work. As they apart, the parents and child kissed each others hands and then put the kiss in their pockets. All during the day when the little girl got lonely she would miss his parents, take out a kiss from her pocket and put it on her cheek. This little routine made them feel together even though they were physically apart. What a wonderful thought.

What makes a child a delinquent

• Teach him to put a price tag on everything and he will put his integrity for sale.
• Teach him never to take a stand and then he will fall for anything.
• Make him believe that winning is not everything, it is the only thing and he will make every effort to win by hook or by crook.
• Give a child everything he wants right from infancy and he will grow up believing that the world owes him a living and everything will be handed to him on a platter.
• When he picks up bad language, laugh at him. This will make him think he is cute.
• Don't ever give him any moral or ethical values. Wait until he is 21 and let him "determine his own."
• Give him choice without direction. Never teach him that every choice has a consequence.
• Never tell him he is wrong, he might develop a complex. This will condition him to believe that society is against him when he gets arrested for doing something wrong.
• Always pick up things that he leaves lying around - books, shoes, clothes, etc. Do everything for him so that he will learn to push all responsibilities to others.
• Let him read, watch and hear anything he wants. Be careful what he feeds his body, but let his mind feed on garbage.
• In order to be popular with his peers, he must got along to get along.
• Quarrel frequently when he is present. This way he won't be surprised when things fall apart at home.
• Give him as much money as he wants. Never teach him respect for or the value of money. Make sure he does not have things as tough as you did.
• Provide instant gratification for all sensual desires such as food, drink, comfort. Deprivation can cause frustration.
• Side with him against neighbors, teachers, etc; as they are prejudiced against him.
• When he get into real trouble, excuse yourself by saying," I tried my best but could never do anything with him."
• Don't put your foot down because you believe discipline take away freedom.
• Prefer remote control to parental control in order teach independence.

What children get, they give to society
A Little Black Pen

Positively or Negatively - we are all motivated

Below is the story about two brothers from the same parents, brought up in the same environment, could be so different in character. Why and how these was happened?

The first brother was asked," How come you do what you do? You are a drug addict, a drunk, and you beat your family. What motivates you?" He said," My father." They asked," What about your father?" The reply was, " My father was a drug addict, a drunk and he beats his family. What do you expect me to be? That is what I am."

Then they went two the second brother who was doing everything right and asked him the same question. "How come you are doing everything right? What is your source of motivation?" And What he said, "My father, when I was a little boy, I used to see my dad drunk and doing all the wrong things. I made up my mind that is not what I wanted to be." 

Both were deriving their strength and motivation from the same source but was using it positively and the other negatively. Negative motivation brings the desire to take the easier way which ends up being the tougher way.

Different things motivate different people

Internal motivation comes from within, such as pride, a sense of achievement, responsibility and belief. Different people looking for different purpose of life. Recognize their need and want - then you know what the motivational force needed. 

Internal Motivation

Internal motivation is the inner gratification, not for success or winning, but for the fulfillment that comes from having done. It a feeling of accomplishment, rather than just achieving a goal. Reaching an unworthy goal does not give the gratifying feeling. Internal motivation is lasting, because it comes from within and translates into self-motivation.

Motivation needs to be identified and constantly strengthened to succeed. Keep your goals in front of you and read them morning and evening.

The two most important motivating factors are recognition and responsibility. Recognition means being appreciated; treated with respect and dignity; feeling a sense of belonging. Responsibility give a person a feeling of belonging and ownership. He then becomes part of the bigger picture. Lack of responsibility can become demotivating.

Monetary rewards are temporarily and short-lived; they are not gratifying in the long term. In contrast, seeing an idea being implemented can be emotionally gratifying by itself. People feel that they are not being treated like objects. They feel part of a worthwhile team. The reward of doing the right thing by itself is motivating.

I'm feel better to read it daily.

A Little Black Pen

If I lose motivation in my life - what it could be

Motivation

Most people are good people, but can do better, and most people already know what to do, so why aren't they doing it? What is missing - is the spark. What is lacking is motivation. The greatest motivation comes from a person's belief system. That means he needs to believe in what he does and accept responsibility. That is where motivation becomes important. They become more productive, personally and professionally. Their relationships improve both at home and at work. Life becomes more meaningful and fulfilled.

After a person's basic physical needs are meet, emotional needs become a bigger motivator. Every behavior comes out of the "pain and gain" principle. If the gain is greater than the pain, that is the motivator. If the pain is greater than the gain, then that is a deterrent. 

Gain can be tangible, such as; monetary rewards, vacations, and gifts. They can be intangible, such as; recognition, appreciation, sense of achievement, promotion, growth, responsibility, sense of fulfillment, self-worth, accomplishment, and belief. 

The difference between inspiration and motivation

"Can I motivate others?" or "Can I inspire them to motivate themselves?" We can create a conducive environment which can be motivating. In order to inspire people to motivate themselves, we need to understand their needs and wants. There is a direct correlation between motivation and productivity. Inspiration is changing thinking; motivation is changing action. 

Motivation is like fire - unless you keep adding fuel to it, it dies. Just like exercise and food don't last long, neither does motivation. However, if the source of motivation is belief in inner values, it becomes long-lasting.

What is the greatest motivator? Is it money? Recognition? Improvement in our quality of life? Acceptance by those we love? All these can be motivating force.

Experience has shown that people will do a lot for money, more for a good leader, and do most for a belief. We can see all over the world, people will die for a belief. 

Redefine Motivation

What is motivation? Motivation is something  that encourages action or feeling. To motivate means to encourage and inspire. Motivation can also mean turn on or ignite the feeling or action. Motivation is powerful. It can persuade, convince ad propel you into action. In other words, motivation can be defined as motive for action. It is a force that can literally change your life.

Why do we need to get motivated? Motivation is the driving force in our lives. It comes from the desire to succeed. Without success there is a little pride in life; no enjoyment or excitement at work and at home. The greatest enemy of motivation is complacence. Complacence leads to frustration, and when people are frustrated they give up because they cannot identify what is important.

How does "motivation" work

Once you understand the principle that motivates the motivator, you can proceed to achieve your goal and can motivate others too. 

Your internal motivation is your drive and attitude. It is contagious. Attitude is the key to getting the response you want from others. How does a person stay motivated and focused? One important tool that has been used by athletes for a long time is called auto-suggestion. Auto-suggestions are positive statements made in the present tense and repeated regularly.

External Motivation

External motivation comes from outside, such as money, societal approval, fame or fear. Example of external motivation are fear of getting spanked by parents and fear of getting fired at work.

1. Fear motivation:

 The advantages of fear motivation are:

• It gets the job done quickly.
• It is instantaneous.
• It prevents loss, by meeting deadline.
• In the short run the person's performance may improve.

The disadvantages of fear motivation: As we learn from history that the pyramids were built by slaves. They had to be constantly watched and reprimanded for nonperformance.

• It is external, which means the motivation is there while the motivator is there. When the motivator goes, the motivation also goes.
• It cause stress.
• Performance is limited to compliance.
• In the long run, performance goes down.
• It destroys creativity.
• They get used to the stick and then need a bigger stick.

2. Incentive motivation:
External motivation can also take the form of incentives, bonuses, commissions, recognition, etc. What are the advantage of incentive motivation? It can work very well as long as the incentive is strong enough.

• Think of a donkey with a carrot dangling in front and with a cart behind. Incentive motivation will only work if the donkey is hungry enough, the carrot is sweet enough and the load is light enough. From time to time, you have to let the donkey take a bite of the carrot; otherwise it is going to get discouraged. After the donkey take a bite, its stomach is full, and you need to wait for the donkey to get hungry again before it pull the cart. 
• This typically seen in our business environment. The moment salespeople meet their quota, they stop working. This is because their motivation is limited to meeting their quota. That is external, not internal.

My intention not to be a perfect person, better is enough.
A Little Black Pen

If I'm in the fool mode

When I stucked at the end of the road and nowhere to go, no answer for my question or no way to escape; the best task I'll do is find out some humor sources. If I don't get it, I start to recall what the humor that I have ever listened. Then I start to play with it. Why? The problem is still a problem, if I do or don't settle it out. The name is given to them is still a problem. Take time to find a solution, right. I can't kill them, but I know how to manage with them.

Dr.Norman Cousins, author of Anatomy of an illness, is a prime example of how a person can cure himself of a terminal illness. He had a 1-in-500 chance of recovery, but Cousins wanted to prove that if there was anything like mind over matter, he'd make it a reality. He figured if negative emotions caused negative chemicals in our body, then the reverse must be true too. Positive emotions like happiness and laughter, will bring positive chemicals into our system. He moved from the hospital to a hotel and rented humorous movies and literally cured himself by laughing. Of course, medical help is important, but the will to live for the patient is equally, if not more, important.

A funnybone could be a lifesaver. Beside, it makes life's adversities easier to handle.

A Little Black Pen

Saya dan konsep realisasi-diri

Konsep realisasi-diri menjelaskan proses bagaimana individu tanpa henti memperbaiki dirinya untuk mencapai atau melakukan sesuatu yang bersifat sangat peribadi dan sangat dicita-citakan. Mereka ingin mencapai kecermelangan diri berdasarkan bakat, keupayaan yang dimiliki semata-mata untuk memenuhi kepuasan diri mereka sendiri. 

Realisasi-diri tidak mendorong saya menjadi orang yang terbaik berbanding dengan orang lain. Ia cuma mendorong saya menjadikan diri saya yang terbaik berdasarkan kepuasan yang saya dapatkan. Ianya tidak memerlukan penilaian orang lain sebagai aras penunjuk kepuasan peribadi saya. Saya yakin, setiap orang mempunyai potensi genetik, ada orang berjaya mencapai ketentuan itu, dan ada orang tidak mampu mencapainya. Yang penting kebijaksanaan mengesan kelebihan dan kelemahan potensi-diri, saya cuma berminat menonjolkan dan mengasah potensi yang mempunyai kekuatan sahaja dan tidak menghiraukan untuk memperbaiki potensi-potensi yang lemah. Objektif saya hanya melakukan apa yang saya suka dan cuma untuk kepuasan peribadi, bukan kepuasan mutlak atau kepuasan orang lain.

Realisasi-diri merupakan kepuasan yang paling tinggi. Untuk menikmati kepuasan ini, saya tidak perlu memecahkan rekod itu dan ini, ataupun menjadi nombor satu disana sini. Semua orang mampu menikmati kepuasan ini kerana ia cuma perlu mencapai apa yang terbaik yang kita sendiri inginkan. Ada orang menikmati kepuasan realisasi-diri dengan menjadi anak yang baik, ada yang menjadi guru yang baik dan berbagai lagi. Apa pentingnya realisasi-diri pada orang disekeliling kita? Apabila kepuasan diri kita tercapai, kita berada dalam mode yang stabil dan mudah untuk memahami dan memuaskan realisasi-orang lain. Segala-galanya bermula dari dalam diri kita.

Apakah ciri-ciri individu yang mempunyai dorongan realisasi-diri yang sangat tinggi. Periksa diri anda jika anda memilikinya - satu, dua atau tiada langsung ciri-ciri dibawah. 

1. Mereka berpersepsi baik terhadap realiti. Kemampuan menerima kenyataan.
2. Mereka berkeupayaan untuk menerima diri mereka sendiri, menerima orang lain dan fitrah alam.
3. Mereka sangat spontan. 
4. Mereka fokus kapada penyelesaian setiap masalah.
5. Mereka sangat pentingkan privasi dan suka bersendirian.
6. Mereka berjiwa merdeka dan tidak tunduk kapada sekatan-sekatan budaya.
7. Mereka sangat menghargai diri dan mudah memberi reaksi emosi.
8. Mereka lebih kerap menikmati saat-saat kemuncak kepuasan.
9. Mereka mempunyai nilai-nilai kemanusiaan yang tinggi.
10. Mereka mempunyai hubungan yang sihat sesama orang-orang disekeliling mereka.
11. Mereka berbakat dan kreatif.
12. Mereka mempunyai nilai-nilai yang mereka susun dan mengamalkanya sendiri.

Manusia tidak mampu melakukan sesuatu diluar konsep diri mereka.  Percayalah.

A Little Black Pen

Hanya lima jenis "keperluan" diperlukan untuk hidup

Kenapa saya ingin hidup? Walaupun kehidupan itu sukar. Saya melakukan apa yang saya lakukan dalam kehidupan ini atas desakkan lima jenis "fitrah keperluan". Lima keperluan jika dapat saya miliki, ini menjadikan saya hidup!

1. Keperluan Fisiology: Keperluan jasmaniah, dimana manusia akan mati jikalau keperluan-keperluan ini tidak dipenuhi. Iaitu; makanan, air, udara, seks dan kepuasan sensori atau indera. Manusia mencipta sumber, kerja dan peluang perkerjaan untuk memenuhi tuntutan keperluan ini. - "Saya mahu dapatkan apa yang saya inginkan".
2. Keperluan Keselamatan: Keinginan menjalani kehidupan dalam keadaan aman dan tenteram, stabil, bebas daripada perasaan bimbang dan takut. Untuk menjamin keperluan tersebut, manusia mencipta bergai-bagai undang-undang dan peraturan. Teknologi dicipta untuk mengatasi dan menyesuaikan diri mereka daripada ancaman alam semulajadi. - "Saya mahu hidup saya selamat dan aman sejahtera sentiasa".
3. Keperluan Sosial: Keperluan untuk berpasangan, bersahabat, berkenalan dan memerlukan manusia lain dalam kehidupan. Keinginan untuk menjadi sebahagian daripada kumpulan manusia lain. Untuk mendapatkannya mereka melakukannya melaui proses perkahwinan, hidup berjiran, berpersatuan dan bermasyarakat. Contohnya, Ianya mendorong kita jatuh cinta kerana kita ada keperluan mencintai orang lain. Dimana jika keperluan ini tidak diisi kita berasa sepi, tersisih atau terbuang. - "Saya inginkan kehidupan yang bahagia selalu".
4. Keperluan estim (esteem): Setiap manusia inginkan diri merela dihargai, diperlukan, dimuliakan dan dihurmati oleh manusia lain. Dua jenis keperluan estim yang diperlukan; Keperluan dalaman, iaitu keinginan kapada perasaan merdeka, bebas, yakin, kuat, berjaya, bijaksana, istimewa dan lain-lain perasaan yang seumpamanya. Keperluan luaran; keinginan untuk menjadi ternama, terkenal, penting, mulia, dihurmati, berpangkat, disegani dan lain-lain. Untuk memenuhi keperluan ini manusia bersaing untuknya. - "Saya seorang yang hebat, berguna dan diperlukan".
5. Keperluan "self-actualization": Semua orang berhasrat ingin menjadi dirinya seperti apa yang diidam-idamkan atau realisasi-diri. Keperluan ini menjadi keperluan manusia yang paling tinggi, kadang-kadang menjadi keperluan manusia yang tidak penting. Maknanya; jika kita gagal memenuhi keperluan ini kita tidak akan mati, ataupun menderita. Seandainya kita dapat memenuhi keperluan ini kita merasakan hidup kita penuh bermakna. Keperluan inilah yang mendorong manusia berusaha memperbaiki diri. Mereka sanggup menempuh apa keaadaan sekalipun untuk memenuhi keperluan tersebut. Keperluan ini jika berjaya dilaksanakan, ianya memberikan kepuasan secara peribadi. Bermaksud kepuasan ini hanya untuk dirinya sahaja, bukan untuk orang lain. - "Saya berbangga menjadi siapa diri saya".

Tiada apa yang dapat saya tukar gantikan dengan lima keperluan diatas.
A Little Black Pen

Life must be balanced

Our life is like a wheel with six spokes. If anyone of these spokes are missing, the consequence is; our life goes out of balance. Take a few minutes and just think. If you had any of the six missing, what would life be like?

1. Family: Our loved one are the purpose to live and make a living.
2. Financial: Represents our career and the things that money can buy.
3. Physical: Our health, without which nothing make sense.
4. Mental: Represents knowledge and wisdom.
5. Social: Every individual and organization has social responsibility without society starts dying.
6. Spiritual: Our value system represents ethics and character.

What we forgot was how to make a life! We need two kinds of education. One that teaches us how to make a living and one that teaches us how to live.

A Little Black Pen

Skrip Kehidupan

Skrip Komitmen

 Pelakon skrip komitmen diumpamakan mengikat dirinya kapada suatu jadual sepanjang hidupnya dan beliau yakin jadual tersebut akan menghasilkan ganjaran-ganjaran yang positif. Skrip komitmen membuat pelaburan jangka panjang untuk melakukan pelbagai pembaikan dan pencapaian. Mereka mempunyai cita-cita yang ideal untuk masa depannya. Cita-cita tersebut menjadi pendorong dan fokus untuk beliau sampai dan menggengam impiannya. Mereka bijak dan telah memberi makna kapada kehidupannya. Beliau telah melaraskan kompas kehidupannya kapada arah yang diyakini betul dan tepat.

Apabila anda mempunyai skrip komitmen, anda mempunyai objektif dan matlamat hidup yang amat jelas. Matlamat itu sentiasa jelas didepan mata anda. Anda akan berkerja kuat, tabah, gigih dan tekun untuk menghampirinya dan mencapainya. Anda rela jatuh bangun, terus berjuang kerana anda mempunyai keyakinan yang  sangat tinggi akan kejayaannya, segala halangan dapat diatasi. Ciptalah satu matlamat asalkan ianya; jelas, bolih diukur proses pencapaiannya,realistik,bolih dicapai berdasarkan kemampuan yang ada dan mempunyai tempoh mula dan tempuh tamat. 

Skrip Nuklear

Dalam skrip nuklear dipenuhi dengan rasa serbasalah, serba bimbang dan serba tidak yakin tentang apa yang sepatutnya untuk dijadikan matlamat dalam hidup mereka. Skrip ini penuh dengan konflik antara yakin dengan tidak yakin, mahu dengan tidak mahu, antara takut dan berani dan pelbagai konflik lain yang timbul.

Didalam diri setiap individu ada satu faktor dalaman yang mampu mendorong mereka melakukan pelbagai perbuatan dan tingkahlaku. Faktor tersebut ialah "Dorongan Keperluan". Untuk memenuhi "keperluan"; sebagai manusia kita melakukan apa yang boleh/mampu kita lakukan disebabkan untuk memenuhi keperluan yang diinginkan. Samada keperluan jasmani, emosi mahupun rohani. Keperluan-keprluan yang tidak dipuaskan mendorong manusia bertindak. Mengapa terjadinya demonstrasi, atas sebab apa mereka berdemonstrasi? 

Istilah lain kapada keperluan ialah motif. Sebagai contoh, apabila kita terasa sangat inginkan kasihsayang, tetapi kita tidak mempunyai pasangan, maka akibatnya jiwa kita berasa serba tidak kena. Perasaan tersebut mendorong kita melakukan sesuatu untuk menghilangkan perasaan tersebut. Umpamanya, kita akan melakukan pelbagai perkara untuk menarik minat orang supaya menaruh perasaan kasih dan belas kasihan kapada kita. Kita seolah-olah kehilangan segala-gala yang kita miliki dan inginkan orang lain sentiasa memahami kita. 

Keperluan-keperluan kita dipengaruhi oleh bagaimana cara kita diasuh dan dibesarkan didalam tempuh proses pembesaran kita. Jadi diantara seseorang dengan seseorang yang lain mempunyai keperluan yang berbeza-beza. Apa yang penting pada si-A, tidak berapa penting kapada si-B. Walau bagaimanapun keperluan asas bagi semua orang adalah sama. Keperluan tersebut ialah; keperluan jasmani atau fisiologi, keperluan untuk berasa aman dan selamat, keperluan sosial dan berhubung sesama manusia, keperluan estim (rasa ingin dihargai) dan keperluan untuk menjadi orang yang kita inginkan/impikan. 

Nota: Kenapa skrip ini dinamakan "Skrip Nuklear"? Sebab kalau ia meledak hancurlah sebuah kehidupan, bayangkan ledakan sebutir "bom nuklear".  Bom nuklear yang paling dahsyat dialaf 20an ini ialah DADAH. Jauhi dan jangan ambil dadah bila bermasalah, jumpalah perunding yang bertauliah.

Jiwa dan kehidupan akan stabil setelah dipenuhi oleh lima keperluan diatas. Carilah dan  dapatkannya.Manusia tidak akan menjadi sempurna kehidupannya tanpa lima keperluan diatas!

A Little Black Pen

Apa kaitan Bahasa dan Kejayaan

Ramai orang yang mempunyai latar belakang kelulusan akademik yang serupa, tetapi mengapa pencapaian mereka didalam bidang yang mereka ceburi menunjukkan kehebatan yang berbeza? Apakah kemahiran yang mereka tidak miliki atau tidak digunakan dengan berkesan? Kemahiran Berkomunikasi - untuk mempengaruhi -  anda harus menguasai kemahiran tersebut.

Disini saya tidak mahu menyentuh tentang "character" yang menyeluruh kerana ianya mempunyai kesan yang sangat efisien dalam memburu kejayaan. Saya cuba ingin mengaitkan apakah kaitan diantara kejayaan dengan bahasa - apakah perbezaan bahasa yang digunakan oleh orang yang berjaya dengan orang yang kurang atau tidak berjaya? Apakah ciri-ciri bahasa orang berjaya? Apakah kaitan antara kejayaan, bahasa dan estim?

Saya mulakan dengan ESTIM. Setiap orang mempunyai estim. Apa itu estim? Cuba jawab pertanyaan ini; setiap pagi anda memandang ke dalam cermin, adakah anda bangga dengan wajah yang anda miliki? Jika jawapannya "YA", ini menunjukkan yang anda mempunyai "self-esteem" yang tinggi. Satu lagi soalan; apakah perasaan anda selepas sehari-hari berbahasa dengan gaya negatif; jika jawapannya "BANGGA", anda memiliki peribadi yang rendah. Dan anda mempunyai jalan yang sukar untuk berjaya dalam apa juga bidang. Estim ialah bagaimana anda melihat dan merasakan tentang diri anda. Pakar komunikasi mendapati; kata-kata individu yang mempunyai estim yang tinggi mudah mempengaruhi orang-orang yang mendengarnya.

Bahasa merupakan alat komunikasi yang efektif dan banyak digunakan dalam aktiviti seharian. Disini saya ingin menekankan penggunaan komunikasi untuk mempengaruhi orang lain kapada sesuatu yang positif. Sebagai contoh, seseorang yang mempunyai idea, cuba mempengaruhi orang lain untuk menerima ideanya. Ataupun tidak menyukai sesuatu idea dan mempengaruhi orang lain untuk menolak idea tersebut. Faktor yang menyebabkan orang mudah dipengaruhi ialah dengan mengeksploitasikan estim kedalam bahasa yang digunakan untuk tujuan mempengaruhi golongan sasaran anda.

Estim mempunyai kesan persuasif, olih itu individu yang mempunyai estim yang tinggi mempunyai daya persuasif yang tinggi dan sebaliknya. Mereka bijak memanipulasi gaya bahasa yang berbagai-bagai. Contonya; pakar motivasi menggunakan bahasa yang melonjakkan semangat, doktor menggunakan bahasa yang meyakinkan pesakitnya, dan berbagai lagi cara penggunaanya. Ini bermakna hanya dengan mendengar seseorang itu bercakap, orang lain mampu menilai setinggi mana estim mereka. Implikasinya ialah bagaimana seseorang hendak mempengaruhi orang lain, strateginya ialah dengan menggunakan ciri-ciri bahasa yang menampakkan estim yang tinggi.

Sumber estim yang paling berkesan ialah "Kejayaan". Manusia mudah terpengaruh dengan kata-kata orang-orang yang berjaya. Manusia mudah menerima idea, cadangan, nasihat, pandangan dan teguran daripada orang yang berjaya. Apa juga yang datang dari orang yang berjaya ianya amat meyakinkan. Itulah kesan psikologi manusia tentang sesuatu apa yang diyakinkannya dan membuatkan mereka mudah dipengaruhi.Untuk memulakan kejayaan anda harus bermula dengan mempelajari dan mengamalkan bahasa orang yang berjaya. Anda tidak boleh mencapai sesuatu kejayaan secara bersendirian, bantuan dan pengaruh orang disekeliling anda merupakan faktor penting untuk merealisasikan kejayaan anda.

Ciri-ciri bahasa yang sering digunakan oleh orang berjaya ialah penggunaan gaya bahasa positif manakala orang yang gagal pula menggunakan gaya bahasa yang amat negatif. Lazimnya manusia lebih sukakan orang-orang yang bersikap positif. Perasaan "suka" itulah menyebabkan manusia mudah dipengaruhi oleh mereka yang bersikap positif. Inilah faktor yang dapat menjelaskan mengapa orang yang berjaya bijak memanipulasikan estim tinggi dan gaya bahasa positif dalam mencapai sasarannya. Estim, gaya bahasa positif dan kejayaan merupakan tiga perkara yang berkaitan. Ianya mempengaruhi antara satu sama lain, dan bagitulah seterusnya berputar-putar dalam lingkaran untuk mecipta kejayaan demi kejayaan. 

Disebabkan naluri manusia suka kapada orang-orang yang positif, ini bermakna strategi pertama yang dilakukan oleh seseorang yang berjaya kapada golongan sasaran pengaruhnya, ialah terlebih dahulu membuatkan orang yang ingin dipengaruhi itu suka kapadanya. Tunjukkan kapada mereka anda seorang yang bersikap positif dengan menggunakan gaya bahasa positif dan estim yang tinggi. Siapakah pemidato kesukaan anda dan kenapa anda menyukainya? 

Kemahiran berkomunikasi ialah kemahiran menggunakan bahasa untuk menimbulkan kesan-kesan yang  positif keatas hubungan sesama manusia. Ia memainkan peranan penting didalam kehidupan. Orang yang menggunakan bahasa yang positif dipandang sebagai seorang yang menarik, anda dilihat seakan-akan orang yang paling tampan atau jelita daripada diri anda yang sebenarnya. Menyebabkan anda dianggap sebagai orang yang pandai bergaul, lebih pintar dan lebih berbakat daripada keadaan anda yang sebenarnya. Tidak mustahi anda akan menjadi kesukaan ramai.

Bahasa mempunyai kuasa yang hebat untuk mempengaruhi seseorang. Ia memainkan peranan yang berkesan dalam menempa kejayaan dalam apa bidang sekali pun. Sebagai contoh, seorang politikus berkaliber mampu mengubah suasana sistem politik sesebuah negara dengan ideanya melalui pidatonya yang efisien, usahawan berjaya meningkatkan magin jualan melalui promosi dengan penggunaan bahasa yang meyakinkan pelanggannya. Bahasa yang positif memberikan pulangan yang lumayan. Cubalah. Gunakannya dalam apa juga, persahabatan, hubungan kekeluargaan, percintaan dan dalam apa juga kontek.

A Little Black Pen

the door to opportunity

When our actions reflect ruling passions that are based on biblical convictions, rather than on distortions of the truth, our change points become opportunities for showcasing the power of God. “There is a certain relief to change, even though it be from bad to worse. I have found in traveling in a stagecoach, that it is often a comfort to shift one’s position and be bruised in a new place.” But sometimes change does not make life easier. Is it possible to adapt to change joyfully? “Joy is a process, a journey – often muffled, sometimes detoured; a mystery in which we participate, not a product we can grasp. It grows and regenerates as we have the courage to let go and trust the process. Growth and joy are inhibited when we say “if only,” enhances when we realize that failures and difficulties are not only a critical part of the process, but are our very opportunities to grow.

Our lives are constantly changing, and with those changes many new opportunities and problems are emerging. Whether the change is one we have chosen or is one that we have no control over, it can be the door to an exciting adventure through which God can reshape the course of our lives.

A Little Black Pen

Happy Birth-Day my son..

Never let go of a dream until you're ready to wake up and make it happen. Every generation needs a new revolution. When you don't want to do something, one excuse is as good as another. Good luck and keep moving forward. If at first you do succeed try something harder. When someone puts a limit on what you will do, that person has put a limit on what you can do.

 Remember! that God never puts anyone in a place too small to grow. Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.

I rarely express this word. Today proudly from the depth of my heart, I say, "I love you so much. Be yourself as what do you like". I'm sorry if you're not feel comfortable on the way I have taught you so far. That is my way as long as it doesn't damage  you physically or emotionally.

A Little Black Pen and Your Father.

Never Punish a learner

When a learner makes a mistake, be sure that he or she knows immediately that the behavior is incorrect. Place the blame on yourself by saying, "Sorry, I didn't make it clear." Then patiently redirect by reviewing the assignment. If possible, demonstrate that a good job looks like. observe the learner's new behavior in the hope of catching him or her doing something approximately right and praising progress.

One of the best signs is you're developing maturity is when you are willing to accept responsibility for your own mistakes. It is not easy to do so - it takes both courage and wisdom to admit your error, especially when they are very stupid and foolish. Now you  have already know on how to rebuild a shaky relationships to get it standing firm again. EGO is dangerous, it makes relationships will  easily to be collapsed just because of petty things. Don't bring along the "ego" alone when you are going to settling any conflict. Bring both ego and humility. Ego without humility is ARROGANCE.Nobody like to deal with arrogant people.

MY JOURNEY have changed his concept to A LITTLE BLACK PEN

Othman Ali

The disordered girl I found along MY JOURNEY

A girl slandered his neighbor. Realizing her mistake, She went to the preacher to ask for forgiveness. The preacher told her to take a bag of feathers and drop them in the center of the town. The girl did as she was told. Then the preacher asked her to go and collect the feathers and put them back in the bag. The girl tried but couldn't as the feathers had all blown away. When she returned with the empty bag, the preacher said, "The same thing is true about your words. You dropped them rather easily but you cannot retrieve them, so be very careful in choosing your words."

Miss Soha.. I pray for you," Live while you are alive. Don't die before you are dead. Be a good listener, be a good speaker and don't be self-centered".

My Journey will never die of your bad words.

Othman Ali

Words

Choose your words carefully!

A person says what he or she likes usually ends up hearing what they doesn't like. Be tack-full. Tact consists of choosing one's word carefully and knowing how far to go. It also means knowing what to say and what to leave unsaid. Words reflect attitude. Words can hurts feeling and destroy relationships. Beware! choose what you say rather than say what you choose. That is the difference between wisdom and foolishness.

Excessive talking does not mean communication. Talk less; say more. A fool speak without thinking; a wise man thinks before speaking. Words spoken out of bitterness can cause irreparable damage. After you spread out bad words to everyone is uncollected.

Forgive she and forget it... the way of wisdom man. I don't let my standard down as she had.
MY JOURNEY

I want to be free!

Famous phrase all the time, everybody say that,"I want to be free". If you take the train off the track, it is free, but where does it go? If everyone could make their own traffic laws and drive on any side of the road would you call that freedom or chaos? What is missing is discipline. By observing the rule, we are actually gaining freedom, aren't we?

Discipline gives freedom: Allowing your child to eat a box of chocolate could lead to sickness. At the same time, the discipline of eating one or two pieces a day can be an enjoyable experience for a longer time. Our instinct make us do whatever we want regardless of the consequences. 

What we think is pulling us down is really taking us up. That is what discipline all about.

MY JOURNEY

My favourite subject - History

People who do not learn from history are doomed. That is mentioned by my teacher. "Mr. Failure" is the best teacher of me. He said,"If you have the right attitude, I can be your teacher". Then he said, "Failure is a detour, not a dead end. It is delay, not defeat". He always remind that,"Failure will give you some experience - don't worry! you can make as much as the mistake you can but don't repeat the same one. Everyone make mistake."

Some people live and learn, and some only live. Wise people learn from their mistakes - wiser people learn from other people's mistakes. My live is not long enough to learn only from my own mistakes. Learn from your mistakes but don't keep practicing them till you master them. You become expert in making mistake and past your buck to others. 

No mistake means no job to be carried out.

MY JOURNEY

What is holding my sister car back?

While my sister was driving leading to the town, I was on the front side of the passenger seat. She has poor-driving skill. She also rarely and has no confidence to driving alone. I called her as “The stress driver”. Whoever seating aside while she is on driving will get stress too. One of the habits that she has while driving is putting his feet on the brake pedal.  She drove the car with the brake-on; it wouldn’t be smart, would it? What was happened to the car? It couldn’t go full speed because the brakes offer resistance. The more bad consequence the engine will overheat and cause engine breakdown.

Then I asked myself what should I do? I had two choices. I can either ask her to press the accelerator pedal harder and damage the engine, or released the brakes to make the car go faster. I suggested her on the second choice. She accepted it just for a while then she would do the same thing again and again.

Smiling and start thinking what would be happened if I apply this way in my life. This is a good lesson parallel to life, because we go through life with our emotional brakes on. What are the brakes? They are the factors that prevent us from achieving success. The way to release our emotional brakes is by building a positive attitude, high self-esteem and by accepting responsibility.

Thanks sis. Now you cannot drive anymore and I have retired to be your driving school trainer.

MY JOURNEY